I’m a Godzilla girly with perpetual heart-eyes for monsters, of course I’m going to enjoy the enemies-to-friends/reluctant allies journey and pink kira-kira love energy beams of Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire. UwU
Oh yeah, some of the humans from Godzilla vs. Kong returned such as Dr. Ilene (Rebecca Hall) and the adorable Jia (Kaylee Hottle). But I was mostly there for Godzilla, Kong, and the other Kaiju plus, the friends and foes made along the way. (Mildly spoilery stuff ahead!)
The yassification of Godzilla and other Kaiju
When I saw Pinkzilla’s energy beam charge up then released with a powerful “SKREEONK,” it felt like pure mahou shoujo/magical girl poetry in motion. (The way I excitedly clapped every time it happened, though!)
Other Titans also made the battlefield their runway and served Kaiju couture as Kong wielded a mecha gauntlet, Tiamat was primordially pretty in pink, Shimo looked cool in winter wear, and Mothra was mother in a smattering of hues and fuzz plus, glittering sparkles wherever she flew.
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Putting the “Donkey” in Kong
Most of the plot revolved around Kong and his existential crisis and–spoiler alert–he’s not the last of his species. Kong even gained a new sidekick with the younger Suko…but not before throwing the kid Titan around like a melee weapon. (Can you say, “child endangerment?”)
So for the rest of the film, since their dynamic was pushed for comedic effect, I unofficially dubbed them as Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong from the Nintendo video games. (The Donkey Kong Country theme played in my head every time they were on the screen and I expected them to start throwing barrels.)
Cartoon villainy in my Kaiju film?
Skar King is the online search result of a typical bad guy: He’s got the lava-riffic lair in Mount Doom, the feral minions, the corrupt warlord fit (complete with a skeletal bandolier), and the evil throne (where he moodily slouched), to name a few. I could imagine the Skar King suddenly launching into a Shakespearean monologue, detailing his plans for world domination.
Copyright Notice: © 2023 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Plot, what plot? People, what people?
If you’re worried about catching up to the previous films and the Monarch series then you can rest easy knowing that the plot doesn’t matter. There were times when the movie felt disjointed because it was trying to present separate films and genres that didn’t converge properly to get the desired payoff at the end. If they just leaned into the comedy and camp more, it would have been more consistently entertaining.
Some of the characters were engaging enough as comic relief, such as conspiracy podcaster Bernie (Brian Tyree Henry) and Titan/Kaiju veterinarian Trapper (Dan Stevens), who wore the visual shorthand for the beach-bumming cool guy–a brightly colored, button-down Hawaiian shirt.
Copyright Notice: © 2023 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Where is the Godzilla x Kong buddy cop chemistry?
As someone who was raised by fanfiction, an “x” between two names represents a significant relationship between the aforementioned characters. My disappointment was immeasurable when it came to the lack of a slow burn development that would make way for the eventual odd couple camaraderie. Godzilla and Kong only had a brief pyramid-leveling brawl before squabbling up against the common enemy.
The minimal joint screentime in Godzilla x Kong made me suspect some sort of behind-the-scenes animosity (hehe) between the two Titans while filming that would eventually hit the tabloids.
TL;DR: Kaiju comedy, maybe?
Despite the plot not plotting, Godzilla x Kong is a massively entertaining popcorn flick that’s best enjoyed as a group. Most of my LOLs were from the unintentional cringe comedy of the Titans. (Again, see: Kong throwing a kid Kong around.)
There were several Titan throwdowns (particularly, a suplex) with even some fight sequences literally elevated to dizzying heights. (I’m pretty sure there was a Mortal Kombat fatality somewhere in there.) Personally, I would have wanted more monster action. (Um, you know what I mean!)
Since they shared equal billing, Pinkzilla should have gotten more screen time and UwU friendship moments with Kong because aside from monster action, monster friendship is magic.
Godzilla and Kong is now showing in cinemas nationwide! Thanks to Warner Bros. PH and SM Cinema for the invite!
